(via thebootydiaries)
(via thebootydiaries)
dumbledore: you know i was never actually hired for this job?
dumbledore: i just sort of took it when dipshit left!
mcgonagall: that explains a lot
interviewer: what would you say is your biggest weakness?
me: wow where to start
me: yeah im really tough
me: [gets scared by text notifications when they’re too loud]
me: [easily startled when people tap me on the shoulder]
me: [cries under any sort of pressure ever]
me: [cries when anyone raises their voice higher than their average volume]
me: so tough
(via thebootydiaries)
Me in the party: Gosh golly! This beat is… Whoo! This beat is… DANDY!
(via thebootydiaries)
Me, year 2074: haha wow so you were born in 2006? you must be like 5 years old lol
(via thebootydiaries)
sometimes I get so jealous of other people’s social skills. like damn. they can talk to people?? and people like them?? look at all those people who like them. wtf. illegal
(via thebootydiaries)
date a girl who is a home and an adventure all at once
Date a girl who doubles as a haunted house
(via thebootydiaries)
Teacher: ok guys for this assignment, you need you to have a partner
My antisocial ass:
(via thebootydiaries)